How abnormal are you?

All our lives, we're taught to be normal. Whether it concerns your education, occupation, relationships, marriage, attire or etiquette, it's drilled into you at every step of the way, that it makes sense to conform. By the time you're 4 years old, give or take a few months, you're taught 'manners', and the 'right' and 'acceptable way of doing virtually everything. Write with your right hand, greet people with a smile, dress appropriately, study hard, go to college, marry at the right age, respect elders and superiors, take care of your family, help the poor: who isn't familiar with the script by now? Whether it's your conduct, ideals or even role models, all prescriptions have to do with normality. If you're not like others, you're in some sense not adequate: normal is right, normal is expected, normal is good. And by corollary, abnormal is an aberration, abnormal is weird. Heck who wants an abnormal child, husband or father?

Yet, when you think of great people, how many normal or conformist personalities come to your mind? Einstein, Da Vinci, Gandhi, Picasso, Michael Jackson, Liz Taylor, Bill Gates, Dhoni: just how normal were/are they? Try again: do u remember the normal teacher, the sweet friend, the nice hero, the easy general, the soft-spoken corporate czar or the 'proper' politician?
Nyet, non, nien, NO! You remember the strict teacher, the class bully, the dangerous lover, belligerent general and the devious tyrant, instead.

And there's a reason for this. Because our minds are so full of the same sameness, anything that sticks out sticks to the memory. Which is probably why we tend to remember something that stands out, even if it is classified as unethical or wrong; things and people that are different, quirky, weird or nerdy in some sense; concepts and people who've moved substantially away from the normal. If you've studied that part of marketing that deals with Positioning, you'll get my drift.

Once you admit this, it's not a great leap to ask: why is it that we persist in saluting sameness and normality? Why do we teach our children to conform? Why don't we push them to follow up their crazy dreams? Why don't we support eccentricity in employees? Why don't we routinely do something unexpected, wild or wicked?

At this stage of our evolution, it might do us some good to step back and consider why we don't systematically and endemically encourage creativity, even, a little 'madness' at every step of our journeys in life. When your child writes a horror story, pat her on the back, and marvel at his imagination when he acts like a buffoon. And don't stop when you find yourself breaking into a song for no reason, or wanting to quietly drive away to the hills, all by yourself. For out of such contrary behavior is born greatness. Not that we don't know this - but somehow, nine times out of ten, we believe such things are OK for geniuses, but not for us. True, thinking differently, or 'out of the box' is now somewhat in vogue, particularly in some fields, but it is still regarded largely as a problem-solving technique, a deviation rather than a rule. When, if ever, will we give non-conformity the centrality and respect it deserves? When will we proudly celebrate the 'idiot' in us?

Two arguments to the contrary need to be considered here. One which maintains that quirky-ness doesn't equal brilliance. Are you sure? Isnt history replete with examples of men who were dumped as outcastes in their lifetimes but revered later? One age's madness is another's genius: otherwise how do you explain the vision of Copernicus, or Guru Dutt?

The other argument might be expected from the moralists. Is it not enough to be good and proper and live your life as God would have it: no lies or curse-words, no cheating, acceptable manners, and a generally cheerful demeanor that suggests we're all living in Utopia? Seriously, in today's, why, every period's dog-eat-dog world, show me more than a handful of people who are content living such a life, when there awaits a world of opportunities for those who can grab them. One could even argue that by being good and expected, you will at best touch the lives of a limited few people like your family and associates. But who wants such an epitaph, when by being different, even 'bad' you can leave a much larger impact? After all, we all overlook the many dalliances of men like Picasso and focus instead on their work.

So in the end, the choice is yours: a life of normalcy, goodness and obscurity, or one of feisty difference, dreaming and living your own dream, by your own standards, even if it ruffles many feathers in your lifetime? For me, the choice couldn't be clearer, and if you can't see it, you're too normal!